


Precarious

by seven (sevenpoints)



Series: Urban + Bana = BANANA [3]
Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: Domesticity, Fluff, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-04
Updated: 2012-10-04
Packaged: 2017-11-15 15:57:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/528983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevenpoints/pseuds/seven





	Precarious

“Does something about these two strike you as bit… _precarious?_ ” Zach whispered, eyeing an Eric-sized dent in the foyer wall.

 

Chris gestured at his chin and whispered back.  “It’s the beards.”

 

Zach had to agree that the duo was looking “ominously swarthy.”  The open plan of the couple’s New Zealand ranch house allowed the younger actors to observe Eric chopping up fruit to toss in a big pitcher for sangria, while Artie and Gary were doing their best to trip him up.  He waded through the tangle of paws and tails with impressive aplomb, mixing liquor, wine and iced chai while twists of his frighteningly large chef’s knife tossed chunks of apple and watermelon to the dogs.

 

Anton, who’d been combing through the couple’s audio library, dangled a jewel case between his fingers in disgust.  “Karl, why the fuck do you own a 5ive CD?”

 

The answer came as a burst of rap from the kitchen.  “ _Five bad boys with the power to rock you! Blowin’ your mind so you gotta get into 5ive, whatchu waitin’ FOUR, if you wanna THREE, TWO, ONE, let’s do it!’_ ”

 

Karl heaved a sigh and dropped his head back against the couch.  “I don’t.  Eric does.  Please just pick something or he’ll keep singing.”

 

Burying the offensive pop album at the bottom of the pile, he skipped back to a CDR enigmatically labeled “SHOOP SHOOP.”  “What’s this one?”

 

Karl’s eyes lit up.  “Oh shit, I forgot about that, it’s perfect!”  Blessed silence settled in the kitchen as Eric concentrated on pouring the sangria into wine tumblers.  “Quick, while he’s distracted!”

 

The song began, and then Karl and Eric were both crooning along with Marvin Gaye.  “ _Listen baaaby!_ ”

 

“No no no,” Leonard interrupted.  “You can’t sing it together.  Karl, you be Marvin, and Eric can be Tammi.”

 

“Why do I have to be the girl?”

 

“Mr. Bana, I have seen your [naked behind](http://www.superherofan.net/galleries/albums/superherofan-gallery/Trek-Picspam/eric-bana01.jpg) more times than I’ve seen my own.  Please do not pretend to have any shame.”

 

Karl smirked.  “He’s got ya there.”

 

“Shut up.  _Just call my name, I’ll be there in a hurrrry…_ ” Eric accompanied the lyrics with a little shimmy as he presented first Leonard, then Zoe, with brimming glasses of sangria.

 

+++

 

White wine and rum proved a heady combination, no matter how much Eric insisted that the fruit helped soak up the booze, and soon he, Chris, Karl and Zach were standing in a row, swaying and snapping their fingers in unison while Anton spun on his heel in front of them and sang into a remote control.

 

“ _Oooh! Sugar pie, honey bunch!_ ”

 

Zoe beamed as they serenaded her.  “This is the best thing ever.  There’s gotta be a way to work a space-pollen sing along into the sequel.”

 

“God bless space pollen,” Leonard agreed.  “No matter what anyone thinks about the original series, let it never be said that we took ourselves too seriously.”

 

Anton sobbed into the remote.  “ _Whennn I call your name, girrrl it starts to flame._ ”

 

“ _Burnin’ in my heart_ ,” his back up chimed.  “ _Tearin’ it all apart_.”

 

Anton came back with a wail.  “ _No maaaatter how I try, my looove I cannot hide, ‘cause—!_ ”

 

Zoe was helpless with giggles by this point, clinging to Leonard’s hand and fanning herself as she gasped for breath.  After the song ended she could barely regain her composure enough to return the favor with a smoky rendition of “Chain of Fools.”   This time, only Karl and Eric sang back up (with much lip-pursing and hip-popping) since Chris and Zach had collapsed together in a corner, biting their knuckles and flailing.  Anton, meanwhile, had stolen Karl’s sunglasses and Zach’s hat and was sprawled against the couch, petting the dogs and looking like a ridiculous pimp.

 

Leonard was snapping photos of it all, kicking himself for not remembering his camera earlier, when Zach called his attention away.

 

“Come on, Len!” the younger man shouted.  “You have to sing too!”

 

Leonard sighed.  “It may be difficult for you to imagine, but I have accrued _some_ dignity—”

 

“No, no!” and they knew Karl had to be drunk to interrupt Leonard.  “Hang on, I have the perfect song for you.”  He lurched for the stereo, cursing when he stumbled over Anton’s long legs (“OW, fuck, stop kicking me you Kiwi bastard!”) and advanced through the next couple tracks.

 

Leonard began to grin at the first synthetic note.  A beat later and he was speaking, his gravelly voice matching the peerless Barry White word for word.

 

By the time he got to “ _There's many times that we've loved / We've shared love, and made love_ ” he had one of Artie’s paws clasped in his hands and was gazing soulfully into her bemused doggy eyes, maintaining a perfectly straight face while the other actors rolled around on the floor around him.

 

By the time he got to the second chorus he was snapping his fingers and swaying and Eric and Karl were shouting (not singing) along with him.  “ _MY DARLING, I… I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF YOUR LOVE, BABE!_ ”

 

“Len!” Zach gasped, gripping his ribs.  “Stop!  Please!  It _hurts!_ ”

 

Chris flailed his agreement.

 

Leonard replied by approaching Zach, extending a plaintive hand.  “ _Girl, if I could only make you see, and make you understand—_ ”     

 

“Pleeease…plee-hee-heease…”

 

“ _Girl, your love for me is all I need, and more than I can stand_.”

 

Zach struggled to bury his blush in his arms but Chris wrestled him upright and they clung together as Leonard finished his song, Eric and Karl waltzing elegantly in the background.

 

+++

 

It was late, so late it was early, before Eric and Karl managed to get the others settled on guest beds and pullout couches.   Exasperation slowed the process since they had to dig out extra blankets and sweats for the Americans who’d forgotten that it wasn’t summer in the southern hemisphere.

                               

Once they were done admiring the way Zoe could curl her entire body inside Eric’s big hoodie, the Kiwi and the Aussie stumbled on to their own bedroom.

 

“Fuck, I can’t talk,” Karl rasped.

 

“A lesser man would remind you that playing the CD was your idea.”

 

Karl met his smirk with a glare.  “That lesser man is lucky that he’s not around.”

 

“Oh really?  Why is that?”

 

Karl had been stalking toward Eric as he spoke, but when the other man fell backwards onto the bed all he wanted to do was lay himself out next to him, and he did.  “Shit, sorry Eric, but I’m fucking beat.”

 

He didn’t have to open his eyes to see Eric’s face fall, but he did at the suspiciously chipper tone in his voice when he replied.  “No problem.  Mind if I take care of it myself?”

 

“By all means, have at.”

 

“Thanks, mate.” 

 

He expected Eric to shuffle off to the bathroom; he wasn’t expecting him to start shimmying out of his jeans, right there on the bed. 

 

“You’re kidding me.”

 

Eric smiled innocently as he slid his t-shirt up over his happy trail.  “What?”

 

“Here?  Now?”

 

“Is there a better time or place to have sex?”

 

“Masturbation does not count as ‘having sex.’”

 

A lazy grin and a long swipe of his tongue up his palm.  “It does when I do it.”

 

He started stroking himself, his big rangy body shifting as he did so, and suddenly Karl wasn’t tired at all, though still a little hoarse.  “Then again I may have it in me to give you a hand.”

 

Eric swatted the gesture away.  “I got it.  Really.”  His other hand reached down to roll his balls and he let out a soft grunt.  “You go ahead and sleep.”

 

“ _I ain’t too proud to beg, sweet darlin’_ ,” Karl murmured.  He rose so he could straddle Eric’s hips and bent down over him to nuzzle their beards together before kissing him, tongue twining and sucking filthily.  “Please?”

 

“Uh.”  This close, he could see Eric’s pupils dilating, the deep brown giving way to true black.  Karl helped them along by rearing up to peel off his own shirt.  Eric shifted beneath him when Karl pulled out his own cock to stroke it to hardness, both of them watching each other swell.  “Okay, I guess you could help me out.”

 

“Pushover.”

 

“Whatever. Five seconds ago you were all ‘not tonight, I have a headache,’ now you’re on top of me.”  Eric raised his hips, brushing the backs of their hands together.  “Pot, meet kettle.”

 

“Mmm.”  Karl opened his grip and laced their fingers together, stroking them both.  “So we both win.  I can live with that.”

 

They stared at the angle where their bodies met, slowly taking on a sheen from their combined precum, until the slight chill in the room chased them under the covers.  Getting of Karl’s pants and Eric’s shirt was awkward and left the covers in a hopeless tangle, but they managed with a bit of laughter and a lot of shushing.

 

“We should have sent our guests to a hotel,” Eric stage whispered.  “Who did we put next door?”

 

Karl glanced over at the adjoining wall, which was across from the foot of the bed —they hadn’t been stupid enough to put the headboard against it.  “Anton.”  They both snickered.  “Well, maybe he’ll learn a thing or two.”

 

Wandering hands forced a halt in the conversation.  Karl fingers caught at Eric’s chest hair and tugged, making the Aussie grunt and grip the back of his head for a searing kiss that just went on and on, messy and wet as their legs tangled, hips aligning automatically.

 

“Whose turn is it?” Karl bit out, breath already quickened.

 

“Yours.”  Eric groped under the pillows with both arms, searching for one of the bottles of lube they had stashed all over the house, and came up with two.  “Uh…strawberry flavored or ooh, warming?  I vote warming, it’s fucking miserable outside.”

 

“Yeah yeah, Bana.  Give.”  He took the proffered bottle and squirted a generous amount into his palm before rubbing his hands together briskly.  Once it did he was tempted to just wrap his hands back around them both, but Eric was spreading his thighs and canting his hips and Karl wasn’t about to ignore the invitation.

 

The first tingling touch against his opening made Eric arch.  “Oh, fuck, why do we even own other kinds of lube?”

 

“’Cause this kind tastes like shit,” Karl reminded him, pushing in two fingers and scissoring them.

 

Eric failed to reply as the tingle became a deeply pleasant burn, all through his core.  He could feel the motion of Karl stroking himself with his other hand, both of them huffing in time with his strokes.

 

“You ready for me, Eric?”  He punctuated the question with a crook of his fingers, and another.

 

“Shit, Karl, come on already!”  The words were halfway between a shout and a groan and Karl took a split moment to imagine Anton listening before he lined his cock up and thrust it in.

 

Heat, natural and synthetic, enveloped them both.   “God, Eric, you’re always so fucking _tight!_ ”  Karl ran his slippery hands over Eric’s chest, palming and rubbing the last traces of the warming lube into his nipples, making the older man moan and squirm so much that Karl inadvertently slipped out of him.  They both scrabbled frantically to correct that and gripped each other tight, the tingling lube smearing everywhere between them to set their nerves aflame.  Karl had to sink his teeth into Eric’s deltoid to ground himself enough to thrust and when he did, the friction just fanned the flames hotter until he could feel them in his toes.

 

“Harder,” Eric gasped, blunt nails digging into Karl’s sides.  “Karl, _harder!_ ”  He kicked the other man sharply in the back of the thigh, provoking a hoarse bark of pain and a sharp retaliatory thrust.  “Yes!  Come on, damn it, fuck me!”

 

Karl spared Anton a moment’s thought but decided _fuck ‘im_ and gave in to Eric’s demand, digging his knees into the mattress and rocking his hips as hard and fast as he could.  Between the lube and the flush of their arousal they were both beaded with sweat and he flung off the covers, panting.  Eric’s heels were still digging into his legs, distracting, throwing off his rhythm, so he rocked back to kneel and yanked the other man’s hips up onto his thighs.  That position let him fuck straight up into Eric’s prostate and he did so, grinning when Eric finally stopped twisting and just went limp.

 

“Karl, don’t fucking stop…”

 

“Louder,” Karl whispered, speeding his thrusts.  “I want to make sure someone hears you.”

 

Eric’s response was to arch his back and moan, deep and loud and beautiful and Karl rasped his approval as well as he could.  The new position exposed more of their bodies to the cool air in the room, creating a dizzying contrast between the fire burning in all the delicious shiny slick lube and the chill nipping everywhere else.  Karl could see it, glistening on Eric’s chest, and fell on his side with a grunt, yanking Eric by the hips to keep their bodies joined.  When they sorted out the tangle of limbs Eric was riding him, pulling almost all the way off before dropping, hard.  Karl sat up beneath him and blew over his nipples, hanging on for dear life when the intensity of the heat made Eric rock over him furiously before they were both shooting with a mingled shout, cum joining the smears of lube to make a mess of the covers.

 

+++

 

The two of them completely failed to be ashamed the next day.

 

“Don’t you guys have a barn or something?” Anton groused from the depths of hangover.

 

“Don’t pretend you didn’t like it,” Eric retorted, tossing various ingredients into a blender. 

 

The clash of the puree setting had everyone in the room wincing and covering their ears and pounding heads.  “Is that really necessary, Eric?” Chris asked.  “What are you even making?”

 

“This will be Bana’s Banana Mint Milkshakes, and you’ll thank me for it, Pine.”

 

Zach blanched.  “I don’t mean to be ungracious, but I’m not sure I wanna drink anything that has ‘Bana’s Banana’ in the title.”

 

“Trust me, this has potassium, electrolytes and magnesium, plus the mint and honey to soothe your throat, plus fructose to restore blood sugar levels.”  He winked when Zach cocked his head and smiled in surprise.  “I’m more than just a pretty face, sweetheart.”

 

“Yes,” Anton muttered dryly.  “I also have on good authority that he is, quote, ‘so fucking tight,’ and, to paraphrase, extremely generous when providing vocal feedback.”

 

Eric raised an eyebrow and turned to Karl.  “When you wash Anton’s sheets,” he said, “make sure you presoak the protein stains.”  He glanced under the table at Anton’s bare feet.  “Or were you kind enough to shoot into your socks instead?”

 

Zoe and Leonard interrupted together.  “Don’t answer that.”


End file.
